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After all the silent cries over the past few nights, i’ve managed to calm myself down and think positively. And i’m really grateful that many of my loved ones who knew that i was down, showered me with care, love and blessings. All these gave me hope in life, and i’m trying my best to stay strong, and cope with the multiple barriers ahead, and upon conquering these barriers, i can be a stronger person and work towards a bright future.
Pardon me for all the vulgarities and negative thoughts, and i’ll change for the better, with all your support.
WHY am i not blogging lately?
Because lack of personal time and freedom.
Many people out there thinks that i’m a fortunate and happy boy. But they’re all wrong. No one understands how i really feel. On the cover, i might seems to be having fun, smiling or enjoying myself when out with friends or family, but deep down, i’m not happy. This is because i really do not wanna infect my unhappiness to other innocent parties.
Various SUICIDAL thoughts had been flooding my mind lately. I know its naive because suicidal cannot solve the problems. But honestly, i’m really sick and tired of all the problems. Its draining me mentally and emotionally everyday. Each time i cry, i’ve to clench my fist towards my chest because my heart felt very pain, perhaps as bad as a knife stab even though i very much hope someone can stab me.
Aside from suicidal, i’m wishing for world extinction. This world is getting from bad to worst. GREED and JEALOUSY is flooding everyone’s clean mind. SELF-CENTERED and VIOLENCE is also causing many problems from arising. To prevent more innocent people from getting hurt, i really hope for WORLD EXTINCTION.
So what if i’ve a car to drive since 18, stays in a condo since born, wear branded clothes and always eat good food. I’m not happy. Its not because i’m greedy, but can all these make up for all the problems and lack of freedom?
MONEY cannot buy me love. Money cannot buy me happiness. Money cannot buy me freedom. Money cannot buy me time. Money cannot buy me true friendship….
But now my whole mind is about money.
Because money is the root to all my problems, money is used to control me, money is forbidding me from all my freedom and happiness, money is just so powerful and detrimental to my life.
