Sometimes i wonder, who is the one who reads my blog. Text me if you’re the one. Thanks!
I just realized that i did not blog for quite some time. The reason is because i’ve decided to keep my life a private one. The only update you can get from me is from my twitter. But that does not mean its public because i do not accept everyone’s invitation.
Before you even try adding me on twitter, do consider if you’re suitable first. Because only those who do not backstab / jealous / bitch about me deserve to know what’s going on in my life.
If you think that i’m changed? Yes, i admit i’m no longer the same as the past. But i do not see anything wrong with it, because at least i’ve learned to love and protect myself. And I’ve a group of true friends there for me will do.
When i’ve the time, i’ll privatize this blog and only my true friends will be given the password access. Till then, take care all my true friends.
Today I see myself taking a step closer,
in achieving my ambition by 30 or earlier,
which is to own a landed property,
and drive a branded car.
I’m indeed motivated,
and prepared to work even harder,
because i believe with all the hard work,
I’ll be able to enjoy the sweet returns later.
Money, the strongest source of motivation.
Leading a life which I dislike is not easy,
but I’ve learned a lot lately.
Learning a lot might be not a blessing,
because many sacrifices have to be made.
Greed and jealousy had created a lot of problems.
The group of people I can trust is shrinking each day.
If I trust people too easily, I’ll get cheated.
If I don’t trust others, people will bitch about me.
As time goes by, the burden on my shoulder is getting heavier.
I could no longer lead a carefree life happily.
Every action I take carries a consequence.
And my actions are all being closely monitored.
Simplicity and innocence in me had extinct.
The importance of money had soared up high.
The tough and ugly side of me had appeared.
Independence and Tolerance level had strengthened.
Aside, my heart for all my loved ones remain strong and loyal.
I’ll never give up,
because I look forward to share my achievements with them.
Till I’ve the time to reblog, take care everyone.
After all the silent cries over the past few nights, i’ve managed to calm myself down and think positively. And i’m really grateful that many of my loved ones who knew that i was down, showered me with care, love and blessings. All these gave me hope in life, and i’m trying my best to stay strong, and cope with the multiple barriers ahead, and upon conquering these barriers, i can be a stronger person and work towards a bright future.
Pardon me for all the vulgarities and negative thoughts, and i’ll change for the better, with all your support.
WHY am i not blogging lately?
Because lack of personal time and freedom.
Many people out there thinks that i’m a fortunate and happy boy. But they’re all wrong. No one understands how i really feel. On the cover, i might seems to be having fun, smiling or enjoying myself when out with friends or family, but deep down, i’m not happy. This is because i really do not wanna infect my unhappiness to other innocent parties.
Various SUICIDAL thoughts had been flooding my mind lately. I know its naive because suicidal cannot solve the problems. But honestly, i’m really sick and tired of all the problems. Its draining me mentally and emotionally everyday. Each time i cry, i’ve to clench my fist towards my chest because my heart felt very pain, perhaps as bad as a knife stab even though i very much hope someone can stab me.
Aside from suicidal, i’m wishing for world extinction. This world is getting from bad to worst. GREED and JEALOUSY is flooding everyone’s clean mind. SELF-CENTERED and VIOLENCE is also causing many problems from arising. To prevent more innocent people from getting hurt, i really hope for WORLD EXTINCTION.
So what if i’ve a car to drive since 18, stays in a condo since born, wear branded clothes and always eat good food. I’m not happy. Its not because i’m greedy, but can all these make up for all the problems and lack of freedom?
MONEY cannot buy me love. Money cannot buy me happiness. Money cannot buy me freedom. Money cannot buy me time. Money cannot buy me true friendship….
But now my whole mind is about money.
Because money is the root to all my problems, money is used to control me, money is forbidding me from all my freedom and happiness, money is just so powerful and detrimental to my life.
So many things happened lately.
I’m sick and tired of what’s happening.
Sometimes i just wished that i can sleep,
and never wake up forever.
I know drinking can’t solve all the problems.
But at least it can take me away a while.
Tmr i’m gonna hit the dancefloor.
Drink as much as i can.
Raise my hands up,
shake my head,
jump as high as i can,
and shout out loud.
Scold me for all you want,
angry for all you want,
control for all you want,
tmr i’m just gonna be myself.
Sorry to make you unhappy.
But if you really love me,
just let me enjoy myself,
i really need it badly.
love.
Exams are around the corner, just four weeks away.
And with an average of 18 Chapters to study per module.
How can one not mug at least 6 – 8hrs daily?
Even on a Good Friday and Sunday!
Seriously, there’s totally no life.
On one hand, i hope time pass faster, so exams end faster.
On other hand, i hope time pass slower, cause i’m running out of time.
So tell me how??
Sorry for the lack of updates.
Really busy mugging lately.
Shall try to update more soon.
Sorry to all my loved ones for not meeting up.
I really miss you guys loads.
And really hope everything is doing fine with u guys.
And look forward to meet up after exams.
Take care and stay happy everyone!
xoxo
I’m really really really sick and tired.
I really really really gonna migrate as soon as i can.
I really really really do not like the life here.
I really really really wanna escape from reality.
Thanks everyone for concern and blessings.
Visited a Gastroenterologist at Mount E yesterday.
Doct said that its probably due to the food poisoning months back,
where some of the bacteria not fully conquered,
Causing a gastric and intestine flu relapse.
Was given two weeks of antibotic.
Had been resting at home these two days.
Loads of nagging, but its all for my own good.
Hope to recover as soon as possible,
so to make it for this thurs’ DKNY Spring 2010 Preview @ Ferrari Showroom! 
